I have it from a highly reliable source – the horse’s mouth, actually – that Rafalca threw the Olympics individual dressage event
in order to spare Mitt Romney the embarrassment of the inevitable phone
call of congratulations from Barack Obama to Ann Romney as
representative of the gold medallist. (According to the same source, Rafalca’s personal iPhone was taken away after she developed an addiction to Super Mario and a long list of contacts with straw men in the Cayman Islands.)
Governor, will you confirm or deny this serious allegation? Bloggers and horses everywhere demand to know.
Update
For more vital Olympics questions, see Conservapedia here. Sample: “Will atheist
nations underachieve in team sports / in general?” Answer: yes, by
vigorous special pleading against China and France. For Heaven’s sake,
the whole Olympics are a pagan cult. The show jumping included jumps
shaped like moons and Stonehenge, ’nuff said.
Geoff G says
(Edit)
Harry Reid talked to an Olympics insider and learned that Rafalca was doping. Apparently, she was drinking Reid’s urine.
NickT says
(Edit)
You should try the Conservapedia article on Mitt Romney:
“He unashamedly admits creating RomneyCare, which is a complete disaster and forces everyone to buy health insurance and has resulted in long delays for obtaining medical services, such as an ordinary physical, in that state.”
Made me chuckle over the morning java, that’s for sure.
Eli says
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You know, having religions compete in sport might be a better proposition than all the idiotic hostility we normally see. I’d pay to see the Taliban synchronized swimming against Wiccans.
NCG says
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Would Wiccans synchronize? I wonder if they believe in that.
NickT says
(Edit)
Goddess only knows, but then again, how long should a synchronized swimming Muslim’s beard be? A Hanafi reading suggests that peach-fuzz is fine, a Salafi rejects the event as an evil collaboration with idolators and a Sufi just wants to be loved by the Great Swimming Pool.